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Friday 30 March 2012

Corporate Lessons

It's a fine sunny day in the forest, and a rabbit is sitting outside his burrow, tippy-tapping on his typewriter. Along comes a fox, out for a walk.

Fox: "What are you working on?"

Rabbit: "My thesis."

Fox: "Hmm... What is it about?"

Rabbit: "Oh, I'm writing about how rabbits eat foxes."

 Fox: "That's ridiculous! Any fool knows that rabbits don't eat foxes!"

Rabbit: "Come with me and I'll show you!"

They both disappear into the rabbit's burrow. After few minutes, gnawing on a fox bone, the rabbit returns to his typewriter and resumes typing.

Soon a wolf comes along and stops to watch the hardworking rabbit.

Wolf: "What's that you are writing?"

Rabbit: "I'm doing a thesis on how rabbits eat wolves."

Wolf: "you don't expect to get such rubbish published, do you?"

Rabbit: "No problem. Do you want to see why?"

The rabbit and the wolf go into the burrow and again the rabbit returns by himself, after a few minutes, and goes back to typing.!

Finally a bear comes along and asks, "What are you doing?

Rabbit: "I'm doing a thesis on how rabbits eat bears."

Bear: "Well that's absurd!

Rabbit: "Come into my home and I'll show you"

As they enter the burrow, the rabbit introduces the bear to the lion.

Moral: IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW SILLY YOUR THESIS TOPIC IS. WHAT MATTERS IS WHO YOU HAVE FOR A SUPERVISOR. In the context of the working world: IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW BAD YOUR PERFORMANCE IS; WHAT MATTERS IS WHETHER YOUR BOSS LIKES YOU.

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Two camels (a mother and a baby) were lazing around, when suddenly baby camel said:-

Baby: "mother, mother, can I ask you some question?"

Mother: "sure! Why son, is there something bothering you?"

Baby: "why do camels have humps?"

Mother: "well son, we are desert animals, we need the humps to store water and we are known to survive without water."

Baby: "okay, then why are our legs long and our feet rounded."

"Son, obviously they are meant for walking in the desert. You know with these legs I can move around the desert better than anyone", said the mother proudly.

Baby: "okay, said baby camel.”Then why are our eye lashes long? Sometimes it is bothering my sight." said baby camel.

Mother:  "my son, those long thick eye lashes are your protective cover. They help to protect your eyes from the desert sand and wind." Said mother camel with eyes brimming with pride.

Baby: "I see. So the hump is to store water when we are in the desert, the legs are for walking through the desert and these eye lashes protects my eyes from the desert. Then what the hell are we doing here in a zoo???

Moral: Skills, Knowledge, Abilities and Experience are only useful if the management gives opportunity!!

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It's a fine sunny day in the forest, and a lion is sitting outside his cave, lying lazily in the sun. Along comes a fox, out on a walk.

Fox: "Do you know the time, because my watch is broken"

Lion: "Oh, I can easily fix the watch for you"

Fox: "Hmm. But it's a very complicated mechanism, and your great claws will only destroy it even more"

Lion: "Oh no, give it to me, and it will be fixed"

Fox: "That's ridiculous! Any fool knows that lazy lions with great claws cannot fix complicated watches"

Lion: "Sure they do, give it to me and it will be fixed"

The lion disappears into his cave, and after a while he comes back with the watch which is running perfectly. The fox is impressed, and the lion continues to lie lazily in the sun, looking very pleased with himself.

Soon a wolf comes along and stops to watch the lazy lion in the sun.

Wolf: "Can I come and watch TV tonight with you, because mine is broken!"

Lion: "Oh, I can easily fix your TV for you"

Wolf: "You don't expect me to believe such rubbish, do you? There is no way that a lazy lion with big claws can fix a complicated TV"

Lion: "No problem. Do you want to try it?"

The lion goes into his cave, and after a while comes back with a perfectly fixed TV. The wolf goes away happily and amazed.

Scene: Inside the lion's cave. In one corner are half a dozen small and intelligent looking rabbits who are busily doing very complicated work with very detailed instruments. In the other corner lies a huge lion looking very pleased with himself.

Moral: IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY A SUPERVISOR IS FAMOUS, LOOK AT THE WORK OF HIS SUBORDINATES. In the context of the working world: IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY SOMEONE UNDESERVED IS PROMOTED, LOOK AT THE WORK OF HIS SUBORDINATES.

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